It is with a very heavy heart that I say Uncle Tom passed away yesterday. Cardiac Arrest. Dead on arrival. The youngest sibling. The frantic text messages. The crying. The phone calls.
I think it's safe to say many members of my family are members of the broken hearts club tonight.
As I write this, I can hear his voice in my head and him laughing or that little smirk he did. In honor of a very special man that is gone to soon, this family scribe would like to tell you about him.
I apologize in advance for any ramblings or typos - I'm going the best I can under the circumstances.
Thomas George Miles was born on September 6, 1956 in Cleveland, Ohio. The youngest child of the late Sterlie A. and Dorothy (nee Leisenheimer) Miles.
The Miles family can be summed up as Heinz 57. My Grandpa Miles was the son of a Czech mother & the Miles' were (probably but not proven) English/Welsh. My 2nd Great-Grandmother, Mary Ann (nee Hill) Miles was full Scottish. My Grandma Miles' family was full German on her paternal side. Her maternal side (Grant & Jones families) were Scottish & Welsh respectively. My Miles line has deep roots in Cleveland - I'm a 5th generation Clevelander.
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| Circa (after) May 1985. Uncle Tom holding me and my sister standing. Taken at our house in Brook Park. |
The few general remarks I wish to make are that he was a sensitive, caring, funny, smart, and compassionate man. He had the Miles "Black Thumb" and was wicked good with cars (as are his brothers) which isn't something that ran in the family. At Uncle Dave's funeral he was checking the air pressure of tires in the church parking lot.
He loved cartoons, Ren & Stimpy was a favorite.
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| Left to Right: My father, Uncle John, and Uncle Tom at Uncle Dave's funeral in 2007. |
Some stories and facts about him:
Uncle Tom was supposed to be named Sarah after my Grandmother's Grandma (Sarah {nee Jones} Grant) but that didn't work out for obvious reasons.
He always worked as a laborer for as long as I can remember. I think he may have worked as part of the UAW for a period. We rarely saw Uncle Tom during this period as he was always working. He would sometimes sneak away to join on our annual shopping trip. My grandmother took Emily & I to the local mall (to shop at Sears - I believe it was probably Randall Park Mall) but I was little at the time. My grandmother treated Emily & I to a nice "sunday best" outfit when we visited Cleveland each summer. After shopping we would pay a visit to the Manhattan Grill with Uncle Tom joining us from time to time.
Grandma Miles took great pride in caring from Uncle Tom. From 1988 (when Grandpa Miles died) he lived with her (mostly full time). Grandma took her role seriously and packed him daily lunches. Grandma was a child of the depression and never let anything go to waste. She had stacks of food along the back kitchen windows and up the stairs. Those bags of Doritos? Stay away under penalty of Grandma! Those were for Uncle Tom's lunch, serious business to her, but we could have a melba snack she stocked for us. WTF Grandma? I remember the crazy amounts of cats, the bags of catnip in the basement, Uncle Tom still living in his childhood bedroom upstairs. The house on Roanoke had many memories for all of us.
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| My Grandparents house on Roanoke in Cleveland Heights. L to R: Grandpa Miles, Uncle Dave Morgan (holding my cousin Cher Morgan, and Cher is holding me), my cousin Dewey Morgan, Uncle Tom (holding my sister Emily). Circa summer 1988 before Grandpa died. |
One Christmas, there was a mixup with Sears. Back in the day you had to order all of your items from the department store catalog, there was no store purchasing. Uncle Tom went on and on about Snagglepus. That year Sears mixed up the family order and Christmas would arrive late. How do you explain that to a young child that still believes in Santa?
As my father tells it, the whole family watched in horror as Uncle Tom ran down the stairs Christmas morning, tearing at the gifts looking for Snagglepus. One gift the family knew he would not find. Although it arrived a few days later, the story was never forgotten. Growing up the stuffed animal was always on the back of my grandparents couch. I wonder what became of him.
He had cats. He loved them - there seemed to be never ending Daisy's and Zoro's.
When Uncle Dave died I called Aunt Robin to ask about a place to stay for us girls (my sister & two step-sisters) in the small town they live in. Aunt Robin & Uncle John's house is a two bedroom house in the country. It is so rural that it's not even on satellites. I was walking down the isle of my aircraft, boarding, when I called her. I was holding back tears as I choked out words while other passengers stared at me. " Aunt Robin this is Sarah. I can't talk much now, I'm boarding in case you hear the intercom. I know it's short notice and a lot to ask but can us girls stay with you?" Her reply? " Uncle Tom already called and made arrangements for you girls to stay here. It's all sorted.". He was very thoughtful like that.
After the funeral he was tossing 12 packs of soda into the trunk of Dawn's car. I remember laughing thinking none of us even drink Orange Crush but his concern was that we have something for Uncle John & Aunt Robin's. It was his way of taking care of us. We had 1 car between all of us girls (with no AC either) that we drove down from Cleveland in - staying in very tight/cramped living quarters (only 2 people could fit on the bed in the guest bedroom - Michelle & I slept on the floor for two nights) - and we are all very cranky not to have cell coverage. That was the last time I saw him in person, July 2007.
On a more personal note, he had a knack for having his birthday card be the first to arrive. I received his 2014 card the day before he died. He sent me a really generous gift to use to buy myself something in Paris. That day I recall thinking I needed to send him a thank you card but then decided I would wait until after my trip so I could tell him what I spent it on while saying thank you. I'm crushed I will never get to tell him and birthday's without his early bird cards will never be the same. In some ways, I wish that next year someone starts anonymously sending me Uncle Tom cards.
As I cried over the cards (the last one) I received from him, I realized another relative was doing the same. I cried over the phone with my Aunt Robin. I'd never seen or heard her talk that way before. She spent the day digging out old cards trying to remember exactly when Uncle Tom had the stroke circa 2011. He wrote her a card she read to me, while her voice shook, " Robin thank you for taking care of me and helping me and all your well wishes. Your support means a lot." (I'm paraphrasing from memory). I have a deep love and respect for Aunt Robin and I have never heard her cry like that.
Perhaps I might add more but this is enough for now.
He was loved and will be deeply missed because Uncle Tom was amazing.
Edit: April 29 - http://www.clark-kirkland.com/obituary/Thomas-G.-Miles/Cadiz-OH/1377197
My cousin informed me that they were able to get a plot for Uncle Tom & Donella right next to Uncle Dave & Aunt Linda's in Cadiz.
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