My 2014

I've sat down to write this several times but walked off each time. It seems like a lot a work and perhaps it is emotionally.

Quite simply put, my 29th year was not what I expected. It was better, it was more, and I could have never imagined how I would grow.

The year rang in with an awful call center job, soul sucking. I put in an application at Origami Owl to work 2nd shift emails support. I didn't care, I just needed out. I was so confident I got the job after my interview I walked out of my other job. End of story, I got the job.

On March 15, my estranged sister had an emergency cesarian section to deliver her daughter. I started Origami Owl the next day. We began slowly texting over the months.

On April 25, I awoke to a panicked phone call from my cousin Cher. Uncle Tom had suddenly died. My Dad's baby brother. His funeral was on my birthday. His loss was deeply painful for all of us.

Rapid changes occurred and eventually we became full time (regular business hours) phone reps.

At the end of May, my mom and I, embarked on a trip of a lifetime. Sentimental as it was important. This sounds silly but we both likened it to a curse on our family, like the movie holes. Paris was amazing. Normandy was emotional. We cried for my grandfather, Uncle Steve, ourselves, our cousins, everyone that was robbed of knowing Nick but most importantly Nick that didn't get to live a full life. I remember placing my hand on his grave and whispering, "I'm so sorry this happened to you". I left Normandy with an inner peace.

Upon return I did confront the solider that shot Nick, he was a coward. I know and I tried - he has to live with that - not me.

When I returned to work I was asked to work back up to the front desk. Eventually I was asked to take over. From there I was asked to interview for the front desk position at our other site that came with progressively more duties. I learn something new everyday in my role and adore all my co-workers there. I've learned to be more social, outgoing - hell I wear dresses and skirts most days. I grew up and I became more professional. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming.

In July I got to meet my niece Audrey. She is perfect but tiny. It's very strange to see how things have come along with my sister. I don't think things are perfect and they won't ever be but they are good. I've grown and tried really hard to let things go because I want my niece to know her silly Aunt Sarah. She's a small, amazing, beautiful little girl - my cupcake.

I was able to mend some friendship by just letting go. My Aunt gave me the best advice " water over the dam" let it go. Do not spend time  dwelling or being angry instead of living the life you could be living.

Next year is my 30th year. I hope to visit my cousin Cher and go to Vegas for my 30th birthday. And of course, spend more time with my cupcake:)